The Very Threatening Birthday

Once upon a time, there was Sara. The time she was at was college, and she was approaching her 21st birthday with much rapidity. Well, with the usual amount. She can't speed time up, after all. It just seemed fast, what with midterms happening, and finals around the corner, and trying to find a place to live this summer. By the way, does anyone have a recommendation for where Sara can live in New York? She--oh, wait. The story. Right.

*ahem* So time was slipping away from her faster than she could keep track. "My goodness!" she thought to herself, but with less polite words. "How is it already April? I must plan my celebration!" She took a break from her homework to plan a get-together with some friends, and then took another break to decide what her first legal ever drink should be.

But before she could make too many plans, the Mob found her.

They said cheerfully, on a card they had all pitched in for. Then things got ugly.

"That is some classic mob threatening," Sara thought. "It's right there with other famous threats, like, 'We hope you keep your mouth shut, Mr. Smith. It'd be a SHAME to have to break your pretty legs.'" 

She's not totally sure what kind of mob that was. Not the point! She was being tracked. From the image included, she could only guess that her end would be met at the hands of an intoxicated fish. THAT'S NOT HOW SHE WANTS TO GO, GUYS. 

The Mob offered to meet her at a secret location and exchange the card for a frozen yogurt gift certificate. Should she risk it?

Our story continues next week on, The Very Threatening Birthday, Part 2: Sara Meets Finny "Drunk-Pants" McFish.